For Jeff …..

sadly
it’s always that last conversation that
stays with you & leaves that
Indelible mark on your soul,

it’s not so much the things
that were said or not said,

it’s the hidden thoughts & feelings
that live betwixt the pauses & silences
where the truth
of that moment did reside.

it’s that last conversation
that haunts you
long after
that loved one
passes on without notice…

we’re left with
Unanswered questions
that will never be asked;
were there hidden hopes, or concealed hurts
just shy of the exprsssion
that will never be found;

and what about those
other conversations
that were left as dangling participles.
on the precipice of misunderstanding
where the pieces of that near completed puzzle
lie still concealed..

for if we only knew,
only suspected, that those last uttered
words spoken in earnest
would be the final act
of the relationship,

how different
would that conversation
have been played out?
the if only’s
are the now haunting refrains
within our souls’

would that conversation
have been deeper, more honest
Sincere, forgiving, or loving?

whatever the imagined
scenario
that we would have sought

is now
never to be
and only destined to the archives
of our memories…

I say all this in reaction to my last conversation with JJ; he was energized with a hope, a quest for a new beginning’s after a bad choice in a singular moment.  Haven’t all of us made an error of judgment that has cost each of us dearly?  It’s only in the power of forgiveness for self and for others where the real strength for the recovery truly begins!!!

Jeff’s resurgence of hope was met with a resounding yes in my heart!

His insistence on me coming to his new studio to record, the new songs he had written were benchmarks of a strongman’s imminent return.  His passionate love for his kids never waned was never compromised.  He was ALWAYS the anchor in their lives!!

He told me with such loving pride of Zoe & Dyllan’s adventures and the joy of their growing up; his fervent memories & constant reminders of what we meant to each other in The Knack years never waned in intensity.

I was crowned the Prince of high maintenance by dear Jeff, and he never did hesitate to also remind me of the all, that he did do for me!  He was always there and certainly hard to have missed considering his imposing physicality.  He made darn sure that I was always safe, on time, and always with my ego in check.  He took such great care of Doug, Berton, Pat, and me, whether we were in Japan, Spain, Italy, Las Vegas or in the backstreets of Detroit.

He mastered in guitar sounds, and had a guitar collection you could die for.   Jeff made sure only the best instruments would be on hand for every show.

He excelled at crowd control always making sure we were safe and secure from the crazies!!
Backstage mayhem was held in check.  For nobody messed with Jeff Johnson.

His loving heart was never more in evidence when Doug was going through his heroic battles with cancer.  In Doug’s last days, Jeff made it all so beautiful and carefree for Doug in each and every way.
I am in his debt for Jeff’s selfless love.

He became a dear and trusted friend when I went through my own trials on earth.  During the darkest days of my divorce Jeff saw my pain and helped me through it, with a hearty smile, an hilarious joke or a personal insult that got my attention and put me back on the terra firma of real life.  Jeff was so proud to be part of the Knack family and we were proud to be part of his family in return.  His dear wife Melissa, angelic daughter Zoe and rugged and handsome son Dyllan always brought joy and smiles to our lives.

Jeff’s passion for football music, food, drink, laughter, were always in evidence his imposing physical stature never hid his ‘heart of gold.’

Jeff was also a skilled guitarist, songwriter and performer and had a career within our career.   He loved to jam with us at sound check and was indeed part of the Knack at each such occasion.  Jeff was also a restaurant owner a cook, a craftsman and a loyal friend!!!

It’s now that last conversation with him that breaks my heart; so much was said, so much love and hope was expressed.  And that pressing invitation to come see him was at the forefront of his pleadings.

He’d often say, “Remember who I am Prescott.  And if it wasn’t for me… ”  Which is so true, as evidenced by the countless ways in which he blessed my life.

Jeff was ‘Caveman’ to my kids while they were young.  His hotel rooms were as cold as the Arctic, and his fur coats that often hung from his huge shoulders looked prehistoric!  He was a caveman, a modern Fred Flintstone figure to my kids.  Boy how they loved him as family and now their grief is heavy.

I felt that I waited too long to write something in his memory, for I, for once, did not know how to express my sadness and surprise at his sudden and shocking passing.  It took a few days for it to really hit home for me, and it was the memory of that ‘last conversation’ that gave me the courage and inspiration to write it down and help expunge the grief that still resided deep within me.

Jeff Johnson will be missed and loved for many a year, and I count it a privilege to be an adopted uncle for his kids, with a mission to always remind them of what a loving and sensitive man their father truly was, as well as a true friend to me, The Knack and to my Kids — let alone all the people in his home town that have learned to love Jeff as part of their daily walk.

Let us all remember how short and fleeting our passing time is, on this spinning world we call home…

Precious is the love that we give and receive,
which in the storybook of our lives,
is the permanent marker for how truly rich
our lives were!

we have the power to heal the hurts now
that have ravaged once loving relationships
with friends and family members,
bury the disputes and forgive with
an open and loving heart

above all keep the connection,
whatever the prideful cost,
it is all worth the ‘effort ‘

so when
that last conversation does ultimately happen
for each of us
let only that purity of the love
be remembered, held dear,
and always cherished…

Love you and miss you Caveman, I will always keep a tender thought in my heart for the all you gave to The Knack, and to me and my family.

Oh Jeff… you are so missed & truly loved …

Later my friend!!!!